New Bizarro Author Series Series by Eric Hendrixson, Scott Cole, Tom Lucas, Nicole Cushing, James L. Steele, Brian Auspice

Thirteen years after a police officer searching a suspected child molester's home spilled a vial of silver pollen, America is still struggling with how to recognize its sentient fruit population. Charles is just a normal guy working at a doughnut shop until an apple and a banana shoot each other in a mafia dispute, leaving a briefcase full of foreign currency and a specimen bucket at the corner booth... moreThirteen years after a police officer searching a suspected child molester's home spilled a vial of silver pollen, America is still struggling with how to recognize its sentient fruit population. Charles is just a normal guy working at a doughnut shop until an apple and a banana shoot each other in a mafia dispute, leaving a briefcase full of foreign currency and a specimen bucket at the corner booth. When Charles turns the wiseguys into doughnuts and steals their luggage, hoping for a better life for himself and his kiwi fruit girlfriend, he finds himself in the middle of a mafia war. As his girlfriend travels the DC metro area, selling off the contents of the bucket, Charles finds he is the target of a seasoned hit-tomato, who happens to be the biggest Michael Jackson fan who ever lived. less

Mad science, giant monsters, and a whole lot of severed limbs...Things were bad when Darren lost his arm to a drunken farmer driving a stolen bulldozer the wrong way down a one-way city street. All he had left was the strange tingling sensation where his arm had been and a life that was no longer there. Now, even that is about to be stolen from him.The foulest mad scientist the world has ever seen has plans for Darren's phantom limb, and the limbs of all the other amputees he can attack... moreMad science, giant monsters, and a whole lot of severed limbs...Things were bad when Darren lost his arm to a drunken farmer driving a stolen bulldozer the wrong way down a one-way city street. All he had left was the strange tingling sensation where his arm had been and a life that was no longer there. Now, even that is about to be stolen from him.The foulest mad scientist the world has ever seen has plans for Darren's phantom limb, and the limbs of all the other amputees he can attack. He is gathering them to build the greatest Frankenstein ghost ever made from phantom body parts - a SuperGhost designed to destroy the world! And it will take Darren and a ragtag band of amputation survivors to bring down the creature and save mankind from total destruction! less

FORCED TO FIGHT!Intergalactic kidnappers have taken the son of a simple construction worker, demanding that he enter the greatest fighting tournament in the universe, the SkullCrushFest, and murder every one of his opponents.They picked the wrong guy to mess with.Titanus might not be a natural fighter, but he's got the greatest gladiator coach in the games and a not-so-secret weapon--his alien ability to increase any body part in size or length... moreFORCED TO FIGHT!Intergalactic kidnappers have taken the son of a simple construction worker, demanding that he enter the greatest fighting tournament in the universe, the SkullCrushFest, and murder every one of his opponents.They picked the wrong guy to mess with.Titanus might not be a natural fighter, but he's got the greatest gladiator coach in the games and a not-so-secret weapon--his alien ability to increase any body part in size or length.Also, it doesn't hurt that he's ten feet tall, has four arms, and two massive war hammers.Are you ready to crush some skulls? Are you ready to bash and crash? Well then...It's time to GET BIG! less

Furries-you know, people in animal costumes. You may love them. You may hate them. But chances are, you have not considered eating them...until now! Not since the early days of Monty Python has dark satire so subversive reared its ugly head! From the Hellmouth of the Heartland, Nicole Cushing brings you How To Eat Fried Furries-your guide on how to raise furries as livestock and cook 'em up tender and tasty... moreFurries-you know, people in animal costumes. You may love them. You may hate them. But chances are, you have not considered eating them...until now! Not since the early days of Monty Python has dark satire so subversive reared its ugly head! From the Hellmouth of the Heartland, Nicole Cushing brings you How To Eat Fried Furries-your guide on how to raise furries as livestock and cook 'em up tender and tasty. The cast of characters is as motley and grotesque as one would imagine given such a premise. There's the misshapen, proto-furry cast of the '70s action-adventure show, Ferret Force Five. Extraterrestrial Squirrels. The Amish and the even more despicable Pseudo-Amish. Whether an avid Bizarro fan or a newcomer to this wave of weird fiction, you're bound to be satisfied once you take a bite out of How To Eat Fried Furries. less

HUMANITY'S FATE IS IN THE HANDS OF HE WHO WIELDS THE SACRED THOR!"Epic quests don't involve the internet or TV! They involve sex toys and manly, hard-bodied, larger-than-life heroes defying physics, logic and insurmountable odds, spitting out quotable, highly marketable catchphrases all the while!"-The Sacred HorseFelix might not quite fit this description, but he's trying... moreHUMANITY'S FATE IS IN THE HANDS OF HE WHO WIELDS THE SACRED THOR!"Epic quests don't involve the internet or TV! They involve sex toys and manly, hard-bodied, larger-than-life heroes defying physics, logic and insurmountable odds, spitting out quotable, highly marketable catchphrases all the while!"-The Sacred HorseFelix might not quite fit this description, but he's trying. After retrieving the most powerful weapon in the world from the Sacred Horse and proving himself a pervert of the purest heart, he sets upon an epic quest to destroy the kamikaze alien invaders poised to eliminate the entire human race.Invaders have implanted themselves in the college graduates standing in unemployment lines—the very backbone of the nation's economy. They've positioned themselves in the city's grease transmission system, without which America will starve to death in minutes. They threaten the digital children, who cannot survive without their Internet connections. They even threaten Bob.College taught Felix how to please a horse. It didn't prepare him for the challenge of using an upgradeable horse dildo as a weapon to free himself from his tyrannical bosses at work and become a warrior for humanity. less

The destruction of the old city must be prevented. John feeds the machine nightly. The devil in the fridge watches. Nobody wants to be a man-in-a-can anymore. Take in a show at Jeremy's. Get your head checked at Fred's. Ride the rails until the tracks are set ablaze by firefighters who fight fires with fire. Tuesday's coming. Did you remember to bring your coat? From Brian Auspice comes a down-the-rabbit-hole adventure into the depths of the human condition.