Halflife Chronicles Series by Wm. Mark Simmons

Christopher Csejthe doesn't believe in vampires--until he becomes one. He doesn't believe in witches or werewolves, either. Then they make him an offer he can't refuse.

The living dead were making his life a living hell-the hilarious sequel to One Foot in the Grave. First time in paperback. A year ago, Chris Csejthe (pronounced "Say-thee") was completely human-then a blood transfusion with the Lord of the Undead changed everything. Now he is a hunted man, sought by human and vampire alike for the secrets he knows and the powers that his mutated blood may bestow... moreThe living dead were making his life a living hell-the hilarious sequel to One Foot in the Grave. First time in paperback. A year ago, Chris Csejthe (pronounced "Say-thee") was completely human-then a blood transfusion with the Lord of the Undead changed everything. Now he is a hunted man, sought by human and vampire alike for the secrets he knows and the powers that his mutated blood may bestow. So far he's dodged undead assassins, werewolves, a 6,000-year-old Egyptian necromancer, and Vlad Dracula himself. But now he's really got problems. The dead are turning up on his doorstep after dark to ask for justice and the police want to know where all those corpses are coming from. Undead terrorists are testing a doomsday virus on his new hometown and he's caught in the crossfire between a white supremacist militia and the resurrected Civil War dead. His werewolf lover, jealous of his dead wife's ghost, has left him. And the centuries-old and still very beautiful (and very deadly) Countess Bathory is determined to have his uniquely transformed blood for her own dark purposes. Now, more than ever, life sucks! less

¿Mark Simmons, who never met a wisecrack, pun, or pop culture reference he didn¿t like, explores different degrees of deadness in his latest Christopher Cjesthe novel. Poor Chris . . . if he¿s not being made unwilling ruler of the vampires, he¿s discorporated and floating through walls. Lupe the Werewolf, Suki the cat/vampire, the voluptuous Deidre, and, oh yes, Teresa¿s head . . more¿Mark Simmons, who never met a wisecrack, pun, or pop culture reference he didn¿t like, explores different degrees of deadness in his latest Christopher Cjesthe novel. Poor Chris . . . if he¿s not being made unwilling ruler of the vampires, he¿s discorporated and floating through walls. Lupe the Werewolf, Suki the cat/vampire, the voluptuous Deidre, and, oh yes, Teresa¿s head . . . all are back for this lates event-packed romp through a vivid world that leaps into existence every time we open a Simmons book. ¿Charlaine Harris¿. . . manages to combine enough wacky hilarity to satisfy a Terry Pratchett fan, and a plethora of puns guaranteed to make a Piers Anthony buff groan. . . . Mark might even have created himself a new genre¿cybercafé.¿ ¿Mercedes Lackey¿. . . vampire Chris Haim has more problems than merely protecting his secret . . . a jealous werewolf can ruin your whole day. Plots and subplots and vignettes abound . . . fans of the early Terry Pratchett or Eric Flint's Joe fantasies will enjoy the humorous bits.¿ ¿Publishers Weekly¿[Chris Cjesthe] is back for a new and even greater (and funnier) adventure. . . . Snappy dialogue, lots of amusing details, a clever plot, and a generally witty sense of humor combine to make this one of those rare novels that combine levity and the supernatural in just the right balance.¿ ¿Chronicle¿Readers who desire something off beat but humorous in their fantasy/horror literature will want to read Dead on My Feet [prequel to Habeas Corpses]. . . this book is fun.¿ ¿Midwest Book Review¿[Dear on My Feet] works because it is simply over the top . . . I love the way Mr. Simmons plays with the standard action scenes¿for instance a philosophy discussion during a car chase. . . .¿ ¿Philadelphia Weekly Press less

What do you get when you mix a squid-headed Ancient One, a mystical force-five hurricane, Rasputin's privates, the city of New Orleans, and an undead Captain Nemo? Christopher Cs - jthe is back, and is going to find out, whether he wants to or not, in Dead Easy: An underwater Mardi Gras of epic proportions complete with an army of drowned vampire zombies and a Lovecraftian take on Gidget and the Creature From The Black Lagoon . . moreWhat do you get when you mix a squid-headed Ancient One, a mystical force-five hurricane, Rasputin's privates, the city of New Orleans, and an undead Captain Nemo? Christopher Cs - jthe is back, and is going to find out, whether he wants to or not, in Dead Easy: An underwater Mardi Gras of epic proportions complete with an army of drowned vampire zombies and a Lovecraftian take on Gidget and the Creature From The Black Lagoon . . . Praise for Earlier Novels in this Series: ?Mark Simmons, who never met a wisecrack, pun, or pop culture reference he didn't like, explores different degrees of deadness in his latest Christopher Cjesthe novel. Poor Chris . . . if he's not being made unwilling ruler of the vampires, he's discorporated and floating through walls. Lupe the Werewolf, Suki the cat/vampire, the voluptuous Deidre, and, oh yes, Teresa's head . . . all are back for this lates event-packed romp through a vivid world that leaps into existence every time we open a Simmons book. --Charlaine Harris?. . . manages to combine enough wacky hilarity to satisfy a Terry Pratchett fan, and a plethora of puns guaranteed to make a Piers Anthony buff groan. . . . Mark might even have created himself a new genre--cybercaf - .? --Mercedes Lackey?. . . fans of the early Terry Pratchett or Eric Flint's Joe fantasies will enjoy the humorous bits.? --Publishers Weekly?[Chris Cjesthe] is back for a new and even greater (and funnier) adventure. . . . Snappy dialogue, lots of amusing details, a clever plot, and a generally witty sense of humor combine to make this one of those rare novels that combine levity and the supernatural in just the right balance.? --Chronicle less