Orc Pirate Series by Simon Archer

Kill them all. Take their Loot. Let the gods sort them out. Look at your library. Sadly, none of those books are about orc pirates, but if you bought this book, one of them could be. Now, look at this book. It’s about a badass orc on a giant pirate ship about to raid the closest human village. What’s in his hand? A big ass axe as he stomps up the gangplank to slaughter all who stand in his way. Look again. Now you’re saving the princess and she’s ever so grateful... moreKill them all. Take their Loot. Let the gods sort them out. Look at your library. Sadly, none of those books are about orc pirates, but if you bought this book, one of them could be. Now, look at this book. It’s about a badass orc on a giant pirate ship about to raid the closest human village. What’s in his hand? A big ass axe as he stomps up the gangplank to slaughter all who stand in his way. Look again. Now you’re saving the princess and she’s ever so grateful. Trust me, anything is possible when you’re an orc pirate and not a weakling. Please Note: This novel contains a harem and adult situations. You have been warned. less

As you can see, Orc Pirate has returned. And it’s not because he forgot his shirt. No, sadly, his huge muscles make it nearly impossible for him to actually wear a shirt made of flimsy, weak cloth. In fact, once someone tried to make him a shirt and it simply screamed and fell away to dust at the sight of his rippling biceps and huge pectoral muscles, at which point, the seamstress who made it passed out from the sight of his truly exquisite body. No... moreAs you can see, Orc Pirate has returned. And it’s not because he forgot his shirt. No, sadly, his huge muscles make it nearly impossible for him to actually wear a shirt made of flimsy, weak cloth. In fact, once someone tried to make him a shirt and it simply screamed and fell away to dust at the sight of his rippling biceps and huge pectoral muscles, at which point, the seamstress who made it passed out from the sight of his truly exquisite body. No. The real reason he’s back is because he’s so powerful, he couldn’t possibly stay away. In fact, he’s so powerful, that reading this book can blow your mind right out of your pitiful human face. But fear not. By reading this book, you too can experience the awesome power of being an Orc Pirate. Unless, of course, you’re scared. less

Danger excites him. But Orc Pirate can’t fully enjoy it when those surrounding him are pitiful and weak. Thankfully, just hearing his exploits has made them powerful. So, even if something does happen to them, they’ll have nothing to fear. And when you read about his exploits, you too will have nothing to fear. Because even if Death himself comes for you on his pale horse, you will be so powerful, you won’t even be able to find a shirt able to contain your power... moreDanger excites him. But Orc Pirate can’t fully enjoy it when those surrounding him are pitiful and weak. Thankfully, just hearing his exploits has made them powerful. So, even if something does happen to them, they’ll have nothing to fear. And when you read about his exploits, you too will have nothing to fear. Because even if Death himself comes for you on his pale horse, you will be so powerful, you won’t even be able to find a shirt able to contain your power. And that’s something even Death will fear. So, are you ready to go shirtless? Because Orc Pirate is ready… less