Dark Lord Series by Jamie Thomson

Greetings, Puny Humans:In your hands, you are holding a tome of staggeringly evil genius. It is not for the faint of heart or for the whining masses. It is for those willing to serve as my devoted minions while I plan my greatest feat yet: surviving life as a human boy and returning to my rightful place as the ruler of the Dark Lands. Before I can exact my revenge, I must infiltrate this world and learn its ways... moreGreetings, Puny Humans:In your hands, you are holding a tome of staggeringly evil genius. It is not for the faint of heart or for the whining masses. It is for those willing to serve as my devoted minions while I plan my greatest feat yet: surviving life as a human boy and returning to my rightful place as the ruler of the Dark Lands. Before I can exact my revenge, I must infiltrate this world and learn its ways.How, you might ask, is it possible that I, the Dark Lord, the Master of the Legions of Dread and Sorcerer Supreme, could be reduced to human form? And how is it possible that the Lord of darkness could be forced to attend school and befriend such pitiful life forms?Only by reading my tale will you learn the truth behind the cataclysmic defeat that left me stranded on this accursed planet, Earth. But make no mistake, revenge will be mine... as soon as I finish my homework. Mwah, hah, ha!Yours insincerely,Dirk Lloyd(aka the Dark Lord) less

After acclimating to the inane customs of the blathering human fools, Dirk Lloyd has managed to make contact with his home in the Darklands. Unfortunately, his powers have betrayed him yet again. His new, and dare he say it, good friend Sooz has been transported to his Iron Tower of Despair, where she awaits what is sure to be a slow and painful end. Little does Dirk know that Sooz has formed her own alliances as the new Dark Mistress of his former kingdom... moreAfter acclimating to the inane customs of the blathering human fools, Dirk Lloyd has managed to make contact with his home in the Darklands. Unfortunately, his powers have betrayed him yet again. His new, and dare he say it, good friend Sooz has been transported to his Iron Tower of Despair, where she awaits what is sure to be a slow and painful end. Little does Dirk know that Sooz has formed her own alliances as the new Dark Mistress of his former kingdom. Dirk must find a way to get Sooz home, especially before his arch-nemesis Lord Hasdruban vanquishes Dirk once and for all. In this equally hilarious and clever sequel, Dirk attempts to regain his evil stranglehold on the Darklands and survive another year in school. less

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.Fear me, o miserable worm!I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed.. moreDirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.Fear me, o miserable worm!I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed...BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame-Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil-Torment by the Hewer of LimbsTHE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA! less