The Tome of Bill Series by Rick Gualtieri

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them. Meet Bill Ryder: programmer, gamer geek, and hopeless dweeb when it comes to women. All he ever asked for out of life was to collect his paycheck, hang out with his buds, and eventually (someday) ask out the girl of his dreams.However, then Bill met Sally. She was mysterious, aggressive, and best of all...smoking hot. Bill never stood a chance... moreThere are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them. Meet Bill Ryder: programmer, gamer geek, and hopeless dweeb when it comes to women. All he ever asked for out of life was to collect his paycheck, hang out with his buds, and eventually (someday) ask out the girl of his dreams.However, then Bill met Sally. She was mysterious, aggressive, and best of all...smoking hot. Bill never stood a chance. Before he knew what was happening Sally had lead him to his death, and that was only the beginning of his troubles. Now Bill awakes to find himself an undead predator of the night. The only problem is he’s still at the bottom of the food chain. He’s in way over his head, surrounded by creatures more dangerous, better looking, and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst of all is the dreaded Night Razor, a master vampire who just can’t stand him. He gives Bill a 90-day deadline to either prove himself or meet a more permanent kind of death, and the deck is definitely stacked against him.But Bill isn’t exactly average. A vampire like him hasn’t been seen in over five centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies to help him out, and an attitude problem that makes him just too damn obnoxious to quit. He may just pull it off... if he doesn't get his teeth kicked in first.Bill the Vampire is an 80,000 word horror comedy adventure by Rick Gualtieri. less

Before he was trying to save the world, he just wanted to save his own ass. Bill Ryder has a problem: the vampires under his rule don't respect him. Unfortunately, in the world of the supernatural, that makes him as good as dead.In order to keep breathing, Bill must become someone else ... something else.Enter the Night Stalker, fearsome predator of the undead. In this menacing new guise, Bill hopes to strike terror into the hearts of his detractors... moreBefore he was trying to save the world, he just wanted to save his own ass. Bill Ryder has a problem: the vampires under his rule don't respect him. Unfortunately, in the world of the supernatural, that makes him as good as dead.In order to keep breathing, Bill must become someone else ... something else.Enter the Night Stalker, fearsome predator of the undead. In this menacing new guise, Bill hopes to strike terror into the hearts of his detractors. There's only one small issue – reading about superheroes and actually becoming one are completely different things.Bill must take a crash course in all things vigilante. Because if he can't convince his Coven they need him, his tenure as an immortal creature of the night will be mighty short indeed.----------Night Stalker – is a hard-clobberin', friendly neighborhood companion piece to the bestselling Tome of Bill saga. If you like laughs, adventure, and superhero mayhem then you'll love Rick Gualtieri's latest installment in this urban fantasy series with a nasty overbite.Series note: this story takes place following the events of Bill The Vampire. less

There are reasons we fear the night. He STILL isn't one of them.Bill Ryder, the trash-talking undead geek from Bill the Vampire, is back and about to find himself in a whole new world of side-splitting insanity. One of the most powerful vampires on the planet has given Bill a death sentence. Meanwhile, an immortal princess wants him for an entirely different purpose, one which makes his first issue seem almost preferable... moreThere are reasons we fear the night. He STILL isn't one of them.Bill Ryder, the trash-talking undead geek from Bill the Vampire, is back and about to find himself in a whole new world of side-splitting insanity. One of the most powerful vampires on the planet has given Bill a death sentence. Meanwhile, an immortal princess wants him for an entirely different purpose, one which makes his first issue seem almost preferable. All the while, new and powerful forces have begun to emerge from the shadows around him. Are they friend or foe? Knowing his luck, do you even have to ask?Bill's only hope is to marshal his friends, master his powers, and somehow prove that he's the scariest dead thing of them all.**********Scary Dead Things (The Tome of Bill, part 2) is 80,000 words of foul-mouthed horror comedy by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill the Vampire and Bigfoot Hunters. less

Three words: Vampires versus Sasquatch. Bill Ryder: undead geek, dateless dweeb, and legendary vampire is back in his wildest adventure yet.A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can't be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity's darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have...Lord help us all!The vampire nation dispatches Bill to a faraway land to broker peace, but it's not going to be easy... moreThree words: Vampires versus Sasquatch. Bill Ryder: undead geek, dateless dweeb, and legendary vampire is back in his wildest adventure yet.A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can't be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity's darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have...Lord help us all!The vampire nation dispatches Bill to a faraway land to broker peace, but it's not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Hell, some of his allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn and in places where he least expects it.Now Bill must rely on his friends, master his fledgling powers, and use every four-letter word in his arsenal to stop the war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods.**********The Mourning Woods (the Tome of Bill, part 3) is 90,000 words of foul-mouthed horror hilarity by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill the Vampire and Scary Dead Things. less

There are reasons the undead fear the night... Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - has woman troubles. The girl he wants is deadly to him. The girl who wants him is deadly to everyone else. He's trapped in the most lethal love triangle he can imagine and it's only going to get worse.On the eve of war, The Icon - ancient foe of the vampire race - has arisen. Panic is about to break out within the undead ranks and Bill is caught smack dab in the middle of it... moreThere are reasons the undead fear the night... Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - has woman troubles. The girl he wants is deadly to him. The girl who wants him is deadly to everyone else. He's trapped in the most lethal love triangle he can imagine and it's only going to get worse.On the eve of war, The Icon - ancient foe of the vampire race - has arisen. Panic is about to break out within the undead ranks and Bill is caught smack dab in the middle of it. Destiny has placed them on a cataclysmic collision course, but there's just one small catch: he's in love with her.Now he finds himself in a race against supernatural assassins to save the person who's fated to destroy him. Talk about being damned if you do...Unsure of his allies and outnumbered by enemies, Bill must dig deep within himself and find the faith to succeed - because if he fails, it'll be more than just his social life in tatters.*****Holier Than Thou (the Tome of Bill, part 4) is 95k words of foul-mouthed undead insanity by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill The Vampire and The Mourning Woods. less

There are reasons we fear the night. He’s not one of them.This omnibus contains the first FOUR books of the bestselling Tome of Bill urban fantasy series - over 1000 pages of kick-ass action, humor, and snark.Recently turned vampire Bill Ryder is having a hard time taking this supernatural shit seriously. Too bad the ancient horrors lurking in the shadows don’t particularly like his attitude. Now he’s got a choice: step up and face his destiny or get trampled into dust... moreThere are reasons we fear the night. He’s not one of them.This omnibus contains the first FOUR books of the bestselling Tome of Bill urban fantasy series - over 1000 pages of kick-ass action, humor, and snark.Recently turned vampire Bill Ryder is having a hard time taking this supernatural shit seriously. Too bad the ancient horrors lurking in the shadows don’t particularly like his attitude. Now he’s got a choice: step up and face his destiny or get trampled into dust. Needless to say, Bill’s death just made his life a hell of a lot more interesting.Includes:BILL THE VAMPIRE(Book 1)Bill Ryder was a dateless geek until he met a girl to die for. So he did. Now he’s a vampire. But, fangs or not, he’s still at the bottom of the food chain – surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier, and way cooler than he is. Join Bill in this hilarious tale of immortal monsters and the man who's not afraid to flip them all off, even if it gets him killed - again.SCARY DEAD THINGS(Book 2)One of the most powerful vampires on Earth wants Bill Ryder’s head. A pint-sized princess wants the rest of him. It’s not clear which fate is worse. All the while, new and powerful forces are emerging from the shadows around him. Are they friend or foe? Knowing Bill’s luck, do you even have to ask?THE MOURNING WOODS(Book 3)A war is brewing between the vampires and sasquatches, ancient enemies since the dawn of time. If it can't be stopped, all of humanity's darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Now the vampire nation has dispatched Bill Ryder to broker peace, but it's not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Sadly, some of his allies do too.HOLIER THAN THOU(Book 4)On the eve of war, The Icon - legendary enemy of the vampire race - has arisen. There's just one small catch: Bill’s in love with her. Panic is about to break out within the ranks of the undead and he’s caught smack dab in the middle of it. Now he’s in a race to save the woman fated to destroy him. Talk about being damned if you do.Join Bill in these side-splitting tales of myths, monsters, and foul-mouthed mayhem. If you enjoy The Dresden Files, The Nate Temple Series, or The Montague & Strong Case Files then you're in for a bloody good time with this vampire comedy. Click READ NOW to enjoy the first four books of this complete series TODAY. And don't forget to check out the Tome of Bill Series - Books 5-8 for more of Bill's adventures. less

My name is Sally.For over thirty years I've prowled the night, one of the undead. In that time I've walked amongst you - a wolf in sheep's clothing - doing unspeakable things, killing countless people.Now, on the eve of Armageddon, a chance for redemption presents itself. My past has come looking for me, beckoning me back to the city of my rebirth.Those who killed me the first time are intent on finishing the job... moreMy name is Sally.For over thirty years I've prowled the night, one of the undead. In that time I've walked amongst you - a wolf in sheep's clothing - doing unspeakable things, killing countless people.Now, on the eve of Armageddon, a chance for redemption presents itself. My past has come looking for me, beckoning me back to the city of my rebirth.Those who killed me the first time are intent on finishing the job. I'm outnumbered and outgunned, but they've got another thing coming if they think I'm outclassed.Unspeakable horrors, both old and new, await me in the City of Sin, but in the end they're all going to learn one very painful lesson: Payback is a Bitch.*****Sunset Strip (a tale from the Tome of Bill) is 60k words of paranormal fantasy with attitude by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill The Vampire and Holier Than Thou. less

There are reasons we fear the night. Now he's trying to stop them.Three months have passed since the fateful encounter in New York City that ended with the disappearance of Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire. Now he's back - reawakened halfway across the globe with no allies, clothing, or clue as to how he got there. The only thing he's certain of is that his captors plan to use him for their own nefarious ends and don't care how much blood they spill in the process... moreThere are reasons we fear the night. Now he's trying to stop them.Three months have passed since the fateful encounter in New York City that ended with the disappearance of Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire. Now he's back - reawakened halfway across the globe with no allies, clothing, or clue as to how he got there. The only thing he's certain of is that his captors plan to use him for their own nefarious ends and don't care how much blood they spill in the process.Escape might be the least of his worries, though. Civilization teeters on the brink of chaos. Mythical beasts, once thought the stuff of fantasy, are breaking through the veil, intent on waging war against mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil, the last remnant of a people thought long dead, and it's about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times.Bill's only chance is to reclaim his life, reconcile with his friends, and muster every bit of attitude he can - because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just a corny saying.*****Goddamned Freaky Monsters (the Tome of Bill, part 5) is 105k words of foul-mouthed horror hilarity by Rick Gualtieri, author of Holier Than Thou and Bigfoot Hunters less

Terror lurks below and it’s about to surface.The end of the world is rapidly approaching, but Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - finds himself with more pressing matters to worry about: the women in his life. Sidelined from action, he’s forced to reevaluate his feelings. Sadly for him, it’s a luxury he can ill afford.An unstoppable terror from the dawn of time has awoken deep beneath the Earth and is headed his way... moreTerror lurks below and it’s about to surface.The end of the world is rapidly approaching, but Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - finds himself with more pressing matters to worry about: the women in his life. Sidelined from action, he’s forced to reevaluate his feelings. Sadly for him, it’s a luxury he can ill afford.An unstoppable terror from the dawn of time has awoken deep beneath the Earth and is headed his way. To make matter worse, he’s been deemed a traitor by those he thought to be his allies. Now he finds himself fighting off enemies from all sides while warring with his emotions. Talk about sucky timing for introspection.As the world crumbles to pieces around him, Bill must muster his courage, master his powers, and rise to the destiny he’s been trying so long to deny - because if he doesn’t, his love life will be the least of his worries.***Half-a-Prayer (the Tome of Bill, part 6) is 130k words of foul-mouthed Urban Fantasy by Rick Gualtieri, author of Holier Than Thou and Sunset Strip less

There are reasons we fear the night. Now he must become one of them.Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. It's time for the gamer, geek, and legendary vampire to embrace his fate. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he's destined to face. It's his only chance of stopping Armageddon... moreThere are reasons we fear the night. Now he must become one of them.Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. It's time for the gamer, geek, and legendary vampire to embrace his fate. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he's destined to face. It's his only chance of stopping Armageddon.As his enemies stand in his way and his allies falter, the vicious beast inside of him wants out. If he stands tall and faces his fate, the world might just have a chance of surviving. If he fails, an unquenchable evil will destroy everything Bill knows and loves.Why can't the end of the world ever be easy? less

HELL HATH NO FURY...At first glance, most see only a shy girl from New York, but to the denizens of the night -- vampires, witches, and their ilk -- I am a nightmare given flesh, born to raze their kind from this very Earth. I am the Icon, the Shining One, the last defender of humanity against the oncoming tide of darkness.They say my coming was foretold, that prophecies speak of a beacon of hope who will light the way during the end days... moreHELL HATH NO FURY...At first glance, most see only a shy girl from New York, but to the denizens of the night -- vampires, witches, and their ilk -- I am a nightmare given flesh, born to raze their kind from this very Earth. I am the Icon, the Shining One, the last defender of humanity against the oncoming tide of darkness.They say my coming was foretold, that prophecies speak of a beacon of hope who will light the way during the end days. It is said I am destined to vanquish the last of the Magi, and face the Night Spawn in the final battle for the fate of mankind.If only things could be so easy.Despite all my power, I am afraid. And if I can't conquer my fear, face my demons, and overcome the feelings I have for a man I must destroy, then I shall be utterly consumed ... and the world will know endless suffering for my failure.----------Shining Fury - the story of the Icon, bane of the vampire nation - is the second companion piece to the bestselling Tome of Bill saga. If you like hard-hitting action and adventure, then you'll love Rick Gualtieri's latest installment in this urban fantasy series with a nasty overbite.Series note: this story takes place concurrent with the events of The Wicked Dead. less

There are reasons we fear the night. He might finally be one of them. A goddess returned, a war between primal powers, and a prophecy to fulfill. That's a lot of crap to heap on anyone's plate, much less a former game programmer from Brooklyn. But that's exactly what Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - has to deal with. Half his friends are missing and those that are left are mired in chaos. Sadly, Armageddon isn’t about to give them a breather... moreThere are reasons we fear the night. He might finally be one of them. A goddess returned, a war between primal powers, and a prophecy to fulfill. That's a lot of crap to heap on anyone's plate, much less a former game programmer from Brooklyn. But that's exactly what Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - has to deal with. Half his friends are missing and those that are left are mired in chaos. Sadly, Armageddon isn’t about to give them a breather. The White Mother, a vile evil from the distant past, is amassing her forces to exterminate all who stand in her way - be they human, vampire, or other. Bill and his buddies need to find a way to stop her, while also keeping the other supernatural factions from tearing the world asunder.It’s finally time for Bill to master his powers, sort out his relationship woes, and figure out how to survive his date with destiny. Because if he can’t get his act together, the curtain will fall and mankind will be forever plunged into everlasting darkness. ---------- The Last Coven is the grand finale of the bestselling Tome of Bill saga, an urban fantasy series with a nasty overbite. If you like gory fight scenes, dorky humor, and Bigfoot-sized action, then you'll love Rick Gualtieri's latest installment in this kick-butt vampire series for the 21st century adult. less