Caverns and Creatures Series by Robert Bevan

Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape.One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them. Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl... moreTim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape.One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them. Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl. Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard. Julian's ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy. And Cooper... well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits. He also finds that he's carrying a bag with a human head in it - a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game.Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn't even know existed in their fast-food and pizza delivery world.It's fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don't really exist.Meanwhile, a sadistic game master sits back in the real world eating their fried chicken. less

Finding themselves permanently stuck in this strange new world, the gang tries to make the best of it by finding the nearest tavern and getting shitfaced. The plan goes just fine until they lose Katherine and Chaz. They soon discover that they aren't the first players Mordred has sent to this world.

Going back home was not exactly what Tim and the C&C gang expected. Trouble continues to follow them back to Gulf Coast Mississippi. Trouble... and a gnome... and an undead midget.

The adventure continues. Tim and the C&C gang face their most difficult challenges yet. Horses die. Eyeballs are eaten. People are urinated on. A god is born.

What if you and your friends got to live the game for real? What if you and your friends were assholes?

Many view "hitting rock bottom" as foundation on which to rebuild one's life, a place from which one can only ascend. Gamers know to search for a secret door leading down to the sewer.

In the wake of their recent loss, the Caverns & Creatures gang are left hanging. Do their choices amount to more than waiting around to die of thirst and leaping to a quicker death? Probably, or else this would have been a much shorter book.

Splitting the party is never a good idea, but sometimes that's just the hands fate deals you.On Nazere, the gang's plans are cast into the wind when a stubborn foe returns to settle a score.Back in Cardinia, Stacy has her hands full trying to help Dave while Dave does everything in his power to avoid being helped.Tim and Cooper stagger out of the desert to find themselves in a whole new world of trouble... moreSplitting the party is never a good idea, but sometimes that's just the hands fate deals you.On Nazere, the gang's plans are cast into the wind when a stubborn foe returns to settle a score.Back in Cardinia, Stacy has her hands full trying to help Dave while Dave does everything in his power to avoid being helped.Tim and Cooper stagger out of the desert to find themselves in a whole new world of trouble.As everyone explores new parts of this vast fantasy world, they encounter new friends and foes... and run into some they've met before.Set sail for adventure with Galleons of Sea Men! less

Cooper, Julian, and Ravenus investigate a cave. Cooper gets kicked in the nuts so hard that he shits himself at one point. That's worth a dollar all by itself.

This is a collection of the fifth six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: They Fight Three Giants From the Bowels of Hell Hounds Tossing the Salaad The Fuccubus Fistin' the Furious Pixie Dicks If you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

Hold on to your butts. Tim and the gang are up to their elbows in dinos, drugs, and dwarves.

Roll up your windows and lock your doors. Julian and the C&C gang are headed into the bad part of town.

Tim learns a lesson about honesty.Julian learns what fear looks like.Cooper learns what giant ant-maggot tastes like.Dave learns that, when eating a giant ant-maggot, you should start with the head.Everyone learns the value of covering their asses.

Keep the "Dick" in Dickens this holiday season. Here is a Christmas tale to warm the heart and turn the stomach. Cooper eats some bad pork, shits in Dave's gloves, and learns the true meaning of Christmas.

If the Labyrinth represents a spiritual journey of enlightenment, then what hope do Dave and the C&C gang have of ever seeing the Whore's Head Inn again? Do they have what it takes to face the wrath of THE MINOTARD? (Put down the pitchforks. It's not what you think.)

This is a collection of the third six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: House of MadnessNaga PleaseElf InflictedThe Land Before TimA Fistful of Gold PiecesThe MinotardIf you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper are at it again. They go out for what's meant to be a simple zombie hunt and get in way over their heads.

After a failed treasure hunt, the guys' path back to town is blocked by a group of orcs poised for ambush. The option to wait things out disappears when they get attacked by an enormous bear.

An attempt at an honest day's work turns into a disaster, as Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper try to avoid getting raped by pirates and spending the rest of their lives staring at each other's dongs.

Julian falls for a local elf girl. He attempts to teach her how to "work some magic". Can he and his friends help her "earn some experience"?

This is a collection of the second six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: Nymph-O-Maniacs Buzzkill Cooper's Christmas Carol Sticky White Mess Clerical Error Cornholed If you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

This is a collection of the first six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: Cave of the KoboldsZOMBIE ATTACK!!!Orcs, Bears, and AssholesShipfacedDungeon CrawlThe Creep on the BorderlandsIf you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

After Cooper carves a picture of a dick into the bark of a sacred tree, the keeper of the grove turns him blind. In order to restore his vision, the gang must complete a quest.

Dave pisses off the gods. Cooper welcomes death. Tim breakdances. Julian coins a new word. Ravenus eats a cockroach.

This is a collection of the fourth six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: Djinngle Bells Genital Harpies The Unwashed Asses B.Oar Guests Wight Trash Probing the Annis If you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

Looking at a lizard makes Dave hard. Julian gives Tim head. Cooper pulls out too late. Disclaimer: Nothing even remotely sexual happens in this story.

Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper go shopping, explore a dungeon, and interact with black people.

These crazy snake bitches think they can step to Dave and the C&C crew? Naga Please.

Will Julian become really awesome at basketball? Or is there still time enough to save him from such a heinous fate? Descend into darkness with this latest Caverns and Creatures tale.