Toute la vérité Series by Robert Rankin

He had walked the earth as Nostradamus, Uther Pendragon, Count Cagliostro and Rodrigo Borgia. He could open a tin of sardines with his teeth, strike a Swan Vesta on his chin, rope steers, drive a steam locomotive and hum all the works of Gilbert & Sullivan without becoming confused or breaking down in tears. He died, penniless, at a Hastings boarding house, in his ninetieth year.His name was Hugo Artemis Solon Saturnicus Reginald Arthur Rune, and he was never bored... moreHe had walked the earth as Nostradamus, Uther Pendragon, Count Cagliostro and Rodrigo Borgia. He could open a tin of sardines with his teeth, strike a Swan Vesta on his chin, rope steers, drive a steam locomotive and hum all the works of Gilbert & Sullivan without becoming confused or breaking down in tears. He died, penniless, at a Hastings boarding house, in his ninetieth year.His name was Hugo Artemis Solon Saturnicus Reginald Arthur Rune, and he was never bored. Hailed as the 'guru's guru', Rune penned more than eight million words of genius including his greatest work, The Book of Ultimate Truths. But vital chapters of The Book were suppressed, chapters which could have changed the whole course of human history. Now, seventeen-year-old Cornelius Murphy, together with his best friend Tuppe, sets out on an epic quest. Their mission - recover the missing chapters. Re-publish The Book of Ultimate Truths. And save the world. less

Cornelius Murphy and his tiny companion Tuppe, the stuff of epics and so forth, have a plan: enter the Forbidden Zones, rescue Hugo Rune (mage, inventor, close personal friend of Einstein, author of The Book of Ultimate Truths and father to Cornelius) and find some of the boundless wealth reputed to be stored there. The freed Hugo Rune now reveals his own agenda. He must overthrow the hideous powers within the Forbidden Zones... moreCornelius Murphy and his tiny companion Tuppe, the stuff of epics and so forth, have a plan: enter the Forbidden Zones, rescue Hugo Rune (mage, inventor, close personal friend of Einstein, author of The Book of Ultimate Truths and father to Cornelius) and find some of the boundless wealth reputed to be stored there. The freed Hugo Rune now reveals his own agenda. He must overthrow the hideous powers within the Forbidden Zones. These are fairies no less, and their evil king is someone even more legendary than Elvis Presley himself! In a scheme that involves kidnapping the Queen while she addresses the world before a concert performance by Gandhi's Hairdryer (the world's greatest rock hand), Rune and his gang of followers (Including Polly Gotting, former assistant to master detective Inspectre Sherringford Hovis) ricochet from one potential disaster to another. less

Norman's definitely dead. His dad fell out of the sky and flattened him. And as Norman didn't want any regular full-time employment before he died, he certainly doesn't want any now. Especially not here at The Universal Reincarnation Company. There's far too many filing cabinets and far too much paperwork. Not that it's the company's fault. The blame really lies with God... moreNorman's definitely dead. His dad fell out of the sky and flattened him. And as Norman didn't want any regular full-time employment before he died, he certainly doesn't want any now. Especially not here at The Universal Reincarnation Company. There's far too many filing cabinets and far too much paperwork. Not that it's the company's fault. The blame really lies with God. If He hadn't decided to close down Hell, then Heaven wouldn't have got too overcrowded and there would have been no need to build the extension. And until the extension is finished, the U.R.C. will just have to keep on recycling all those souls in the big queue.If your taste is for a tender romance, taut with passion and desire, love and betrayal, then this raging stonker of a novel, bursting out of its leather pants with sex, scandal, murder, mystery, suspense, drama, action, adventure and Mad Car Disease, probably won't be for you. Sorry. less